Pity is a feeling of sorrow and compassion evoked by the suffering of others. It can be both benevolent, where you genuinely care about someone’s pain, or contemptuous, where it feels more like condescension. Pity often arises when we see someone in a difficult situation that we believe they don’t deserve. According to Plutchik's framework, pity is a form of sadness with low arousal and negative valence. It can be a powerful emotion that motivates us to help others, but it can also make us feel helpless or overwhelmed if not managed well.

Using Inner

Using Inner, you can track patterns of when pity arises, such as after watching news or visiting someone in need. Pay attention to physical sensations like heaviness in the chest or a lump in the throat. Label your feelings precisely, distinguishing between benevolent and contemptuous pity. Explore healthy ways to express this emotion, like volunteering or offering support. If pity feels overwhelming, use regulation strategies like deep breathing or mindfulness to manage it.

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Common Triggers

→Seeing someone in a difficult situation
→Hearing about personal losses or hardships
→Watching news reports of suffering
→Reading stories of pain and struggle
→Visiting someone who is ill or in distress
→Encountering poverty or homelessness

Physical Sensations

•Heavy heart
•Lump in the throat
•Sadness in the chest
•Tightness in the stomach
•Feeling of heaviness in the limbs
•Downcast eyes

Working with This Emotion

Recognize

Pity can be recognized by physical sensations like a heavy heart, a lump in the throat, or a feeling of sadness. Facial expressions might include a furrowed brow and downcast eyes. Behavioral signs could include offering help or expressing sympathy. Words associated with pity include 'abandoned,' 'anguished,' 'cry,' and 'grief.'

Understand

Pity often arises in situations where we see others suffering, such as illness, loss, or hardship. It can be triggered by news reports, personal interactions, or even fictional stories that depict pain and struggle.

Label

To label pity accurately, consider the context and your feelings. Is it a genuine sense of compassion or does it feel more like condescension? Distinguish it from similar emotions like empathy (understanding someone’s feelings) or sympathy (feeling sorry for them).

Express

Healthy ways to express pity include offering support, volunteering, or simply being present with the person in need. You can also share your feelings with others to gain perspective and avoid feeling overwhelmed.

Regulate

If pity feels overwhelming, try deep breathing exercises, mindfulness meditation, or talking to a trusted friend. Engage in self-care activities that help you recharge, such as reading, walking, or listening to music.

Practical Examples