Regret is the feeling of wishing you had made a different decision in the past, often because the outcome was unfavorable. It's a blend of sadness and disappointment, rooted in the belief that things could have turned out better if you had chosen differently. Regret can feel heavy and lingering, like a weight on your chest or a constant nagging thought. It often shows up when reflecting on missed opportunities, mistakes, or choices that didn't align with your values. According to Plutchik's framework, regret is categorized under sadness, with low arousal and negative valence, suggesting it can be a quiet but profound emotion that prompts reintegration and help-seeking behaviors.

Using Inner

Using Inner, you can track patterns of regret by journaling about specific instances where this emotion arises. Pay attention to the physical sensations it triggers, such as heaviness in your chest or a knot in your stomach. By recognizing these signals, you can better understand the root causes and take steps to address them. For example, if you notice that regret often follows moments of indecision, you might set intentions to be more decisive in the future. Inner also offers guided exercises to help you express and regulate this emotion, such as writing a letter to your past self or practicing self-compassion.

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Common Triggers

→Reflecting on missed opportunities
→Hearing about someone else's success
→Seeing reminders of past decisions
→Feeling stuck in a current situation
→Experiencing a loss or failure
→Comparing your life to others' lives

Physical Sensations

•Heaviness in the chest
•Knot in the stomach
•Tightness in the throat
•Feeling of being weighed down
•Drooping shoulders
•Furrowed brow

Working with This Emotion

Recognize

Regret can be recognized by physical sensations like a heavy chest, a knot in your stomach, or a sense of heaviness. You might also notice facial expressions of sadness, such as drooping shoulders and a furrowed brow. Behavioral signs include withdrawal, rumination, and a tendency to dwell on past decisions.

Understand

Common causes of regret include missed opportunities, poor decision-making, and actions that didn't align with your values. It often arises when reflecting on the past and comparing what was chosen versus what could have been. Regret can also be triggered by external events, such as hearing about someone else's success or seeing a reminder of a lost opportunity.

Label

To label regret precisely, focus on the specific thought patterns and physical sensations that distinguish it from similar emotions like disappointment or remorse. Regret is unique in its counterfactual nature—wishing things had been different. Disappointment is more about the present outcome, while remorse involves a sense of responsibility for past actions.

Express

Healthy ways to express regret include writing about your feelings, talking to a trusted friend, or engaging in creative activities like painting or music. You can also practice self-compassion by acknowledging that everyone makes mistakes and that it's okay to learn from them. Sharing your regrets with others can sometimes lead to healing and growth.

Regulate

Strategies to regulate regret include mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or meditation, which can help you stay present and avoid ruminating on the past. Setting new goals or taking action to change your current situation can also provide a sense of control and purpose. Cognitive reframing, where you reframe negative thoughts into more positive ones, can be particularly effective in managing regret.

Practical Examples